I Expected to Get Wet and Was Sadly Disappointed
Aquaman | Directed By James Wan | Action/Fantasy | PG-13 | 2 H 23 MIN
Written by Jocelyn Illing
Okay I am going to say this right off the bat, I hate superhero movies. I find that they are often repetitive, their jokes fall flat, and they rely too heavily on special effects. However, I’m not saying that all super hero movies are bad. Some superhero movies are actually quite good. For example, I would argue that the Dark Knight Trilogy took the genre to a whole new, cinematic level. With it’s booming sound, crisp cinematography and outstanding performances, Christopher Nolan’s take on the DC universe was nothing like what I had ever seen before. The reason for this? Nolan had complete creative control. As soon as DC began producing their own films, their quality deteriorated substantially. I would like to argue that Aquaman is one of these films.
Jason Momoa, the six-foot-four piece of beautiful eye-candy meat, stars as Arthur Curry, a man who is surprisingly not half fish. Curry is the son of a lighthouse keeper and the queen of Atlantis. Basically, his dad and his mom had sex and then she f***** off back to the sea, leaving Curry in the arms of his competent father. Arthur experiences a major glow up, turning into, essentially, a Greek God. As previously mentioned, although he is half-human half Atlantean, he does not have any fins. However, he does possess the ability to talk to fish, which comes in handy when being bullied at his local aquarium. Non-fish-man eventually returns to the sea to battle Orm, his half-brother with a terrible penchant for hair gel, to become king of the sea. Yadda, yadda, yadda.
So, let us start tearing this mother-f***** apart shall we. The first thing that I noticed about the film was its awful graphics. I understand that, because of the setting and subject material, special effects are crucial in presenting this story, but, frankly, I found them quite distracting. This was most apparent towards the beginning of the film when Nicole Kidman’s character meets Curry’s father. In order to make Kidman appear younger, they had to alter the graphics on her face, erasing any apparent blemish or wrinkle. Unfortunately for Kidman, the effects made her look more deformed than youthful. Thanks science guys. While this is just an example of the failure of special effects in the film there are many other instances of the art-department’s failure to produce a crisp and visually appealing image. The only scene in the entire film that I would consider to be even a little beautiful was that when Curry and Mera are in the desert. The rest of the film consisted of blurry, washed out, CGI trash.
Thank god for Jason Momoa. Without him, I do not think that this film would be bearable. Momoa’s charisma, humour, and sexuality breathed life into an otherwise dead film. Although the humour was a bit on the cheesy side, Momoa executed each line with great timing and enthusiasm. The same cannot be said for the performances of Amber Heard, Willem Dafoe and Patrick Wilson. It’s not entirely their fault though, for they only had so much to work with script-wise.
In conclusion, I do not regret watching Aquaman, but, I cannot say that I would watch it again. Would I suggest that you run to your nearest cinema and buy a ticket? No. If you find yourself bored on a Sunday night and happen to find it in your Netflix suggested should you watch it? Sure. Just don’t expect it to be the film of the year.
Watch the Official Trailer Below